Janice

View Original

Rejected Captions For Our Dog Wearing a Santa Hat Caption Contest

Bark Bark! I'm Santa Paws!

Reason For Rejection: flagrant pun

 

Are you naughty or nice? I'll tell you what I am, and that's a dog!

Reason For Rejection: dog too self-aware

 

Santa better not bring me coal again!

Reason For Rejection: negative portrayal of Santa Claus

 

I'll pull the sleigh if you need me, Santa!

Reason For Rejection: brown nosing

 

365 days until Christmas feels so far away.

Reason For Rejection: wrong photo being captioned

 

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, I'm howling at that Christmas tree!

Reason For Rejection: too noisy

 

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, but I won't tell! I'm a dog!

Reason For Rejection: promotes fetishistic voyeurism; dog too self-aware

 

Silent Night, Howly Night!

Reason For Rejection: contradiction re: sound of nights

 

I promise I won't eat the Christmas ham off the table!

Reason For Rejection: Ham is not being served

 

Every dog has his day, and this dog's day is Christmas!

Reason For Rejection: picture is of a female dog

 

Meow!

Reason For Rejection: absurd

 

My owner's dreaming of a white Christmas. I'm dreaming of a big old pile of bones!

Reason For Rejection: use of occult imagery re: bone pile

 

They say a dog is man's best friend, but man's true best friend is Jesus.

Reason For Rejection: compares Lord and Savior to a dog

 

Every time a dog barks, an angel gets his wings.

Reason For Rejection: untrue statement; not all angels are men you sexist monster

 

Merry Christmas or a Happy New Year!

Reason For Rejection: prefer not to choose

 

Sit, Santa! Sit! Roll over! Now stay... and give us presents!

Reason For Rejection: don't tell Santa what to do

 

I wish for peace on Earth, good will towards men, and the perfect dog like this one.

Reason For Rejection: wrong photo being captioned; not all receivers of good will are men you sexist monster