Elements That Will Absolutely Be In The Full House Netflix Revival

Joey hosts a podcast out of the basement. He interviews local comedians, one of whom is played by Marc Maron.

One of Jesse and Rebecca's twin boys will be gay or transgendered, whichever seems more popular at the time.

PLOT: Wake Up San Francisco is bought out by a start up and turned into content for their YouTube channel. Danny is mad until he finds out the boss of the start up is Joey. After a bunch of start up jokes, Danny reconciles that times have changed.

JOKE: “It's been twenty years and I still haven't gotten the hang of it.”

PLOT: Mirroring the Full House reboot itself, Jesse and The Rippers reunite to do one last world tour. Rebecca wants him to stay home and be a dad to his gay/transgendered son. “You're too old to rock 'n' roll, Jesse.” “No I'm not, just look at the Beach Boys.” Rebecca opens the kitchen door to reveal the decaying husk of Al Jardine. This moment is played genuinely.

JOKE: “You girls get home safe, I don't want you ending up like Charlie Sheen.”

To explain Michelle's absence, it's explained that she's published a memoir called “Growing Up Tanner” and has distanced herself from the family, or constantly on the road with David Sedaris, whichever is less sad.

PLOT: DJ, now a professional mixed martial artist, learns that Ronda Rousey is looking for students. She joins Ronda's camp, only to discover that Kimmy Gibbler has joined, too. Kimmy quickly becomes Ronda's favorite, as Kimmy's nerdy goofball personality matches exactly with Ronda's (there will be a lot of jokes where Ronda Rousey will say Kimmy Gibbler catchphrases at the same time or right after Kimmy says them, like “Tannerinos”). Will DJ's jealously take over or will her friendship with Kimmy prevail? Dana White also shows up and says “Damn, these chicks can fight.”

JOKE: “We're not crazy like the Kardashians or funny like the Bluths, but people like the Tanners. *slight look to camera*

To appeal to fans of today's most popular shows, Stephanie has become a sassy, awkward young adult living in Brooklyn, with an unquenchable taste for flesh and desire to show her breasts. She will stop at nothing to become Vice President.

Steve, DJ's former boyfriend, has gone on to become Banksy.

JOKE: “Joey, your web video has gone viral faster than Too Many Cooks.”

PLOT: Jimmy Fallon brings the Tanners on to The Tonight Show for some reason because Jesus fucking Christ.