by Arianna Pozzuoli
LAS VEGAS - American Ninja Warrior is about to make history next season when it introduces a new obstacle course that especially caters to single women over 40. Five brave women from across the country, ranging from 40 to 46, will compete in a series of obstacles that are designed to test their patience and make them swear like a trucker. Let's meet the obstacles shall we!
In the first obstacle, The Mirror, women will face a giant Mongstad mirror from Ikea priced at $199.99 and run as fast as they can from their flaws. One of the contestants, Belinda O’Rourke, 41, said that she’s feeling a little nervous about the first obstacle as she recently discovered a new batch of spider veins at the back of her leg that she hasn’t come to terms with yet.
In the second obstacle known as The Dodger, each woman will attend the bridal shower of a cousin she dislikes. She must then ninja roll her way through a series of questions and comments from family members such as, “So, have you met anyone recently?” and “Since, you’re not married, you can sit at the children’s table.” While most women at this age are used to these kinds of questions and comments already, the real question is whether or not they will be able to avoid family drama and hold a paper plate with a tiny egg salad sandwich and shortbread cookies at the same time?
Next up is an obstacle called, the Typical Singles Mixer, where each woman will be thrown into a saltwater pool and swim among thousands of fish for one minute. She will need to introduce herself to as many fish as possible, but try to avoid the ones that will want to eat her, or want someone half her age. In the fourth obstacle, The Blind Assassin, each woman will go on a blind date with someone WHO’S NOT THEIR TYPE AT ALL, but her friends will seem to think is the perfect match. One of the competitors, Ilene Oneda said that she’s not feeling confident about this round as the last guy she was set up with by a friend said that he had really bad indigestion and that’s all he could talk about all night.
The final obstacle is called The Surprise. The producers of the show will not reveal what it is, but did drop hints that it will be work-related and that juggling may be involved.
Will the winner have the determination to walk away with a date? We’ll have to tune in to find out.
Arianna Pozzuoli is an educator, writer, storyteller and poet. She also loves nachos.